The BORING

Previous 20

Feb. 7th, 2010

Hair bleaching

mood:

frustrated

I'm bleaching my hair now,
I peeked at it and the color is uneven DDD:

Feb. 4th, 2010

Conjunctivitis...

mood:

sick

Omg i've been have conjunctivitis all this time and i thought it is normal.
Emo feelings has come back and haunt me, totally can't sleep well...
zzz

Feb. 3rd, 2010

Chance has to be earned.
And not too easily given.
Love and likeness can be worked on even there isn't any.
Love and likeness adds up a little at a time,
to form a reservoir of love and memories.
to form a lasting relationship.
Sincere actions wins hearts.
Time is always essence.
Love is not just a feeling, it is action.
I do not want to love someone who does not know how to love anymore.
Fear of being commited. fear of being devoted. Fear of loving someone too much.
I will only end up wounded in dreadful scars, bruises and torment.
Promises and words that are all once said are all falsehood, only to win heart for those moments.
The unfortunate truth that everythng is a lie, nothing but a lie.
Lies which I was willing to believe, believing that it was true.
Too naive to have hung on. I was thick believing in forever.
Love is something i shouldn't and never should taste.
=)

Posted at 04:08 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 2nd, 2010

Moving?

mood:

okay

Going out to get some sanitizing spray.
cleaning out the house these few days.
Can't stand the pink in my room, I never wanted it pastel pink.
So Akibanana.
I would like to paint everything black...a.pparently my mum isn't happy with that idea
hopefully will shift out by march, i wanna get stuffs from taobao.
I hope will be getting pay by tomorrow or thursday,
totally need to go to those sales.
Probably going to KL this weekend :D

Posted at 03:59 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 1st, 2010

akibanana and back

mood:

tired

my mum owned me bad yesterday at 3am.
whatever, they will not understand anyway.
modern world in and the past totally different.
akibanana got their liquor licence. they are selling beers now.
but seesh i wished i got free beers to drink :)
we'll i did drink a bit.
I need to get my drinks on ahahaha.
feel so tired. 13 hours straight for the last time.
I'm really grateful Akibanana took me in for the past 11 days.
I totally enojyed my tme there, although the hours for me is long and real tiring.
But just what i needed.

that feeling of longing is haunting me.
need to get rid fast feeling fast
it's already the 1st of feb why i still can't completely get over it?
Useless.

Posted at 02:09 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jan. 30th, 2010

love = pain and torments

mood:

crushed

I love you,
This 3 words what does it really mean?
Love can be so sweet but now so tasteless.
I still miss him, like a junkie who need their constant doze.
I know I'm stupid I love him still,
I trying my hardest to let it all go.
Being a human I can only do this much.
Reality is harsh.
Nothing matters anymore.
Move on, I must.
I wished for someone to stand still with me,
I don't think there is ever a need for one.
I was blinded by love, and also curious.
Should have used my brains more to compensate my heart's feelings.
He never knew how to love,
I was navie.
I don't need anyone but me, and the company of my friend.
Vunerable, I am now.
I will not allow myself to be vunerable again.

Posted at 06:52 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Sep. 10th, 2009

humans

location: aircon and bed

mood:

cynical

we humans can never be satisfied with whatever we have.
always want more, aiming for perfection when there isn't such thing called perfection.
sometimes when you got it and have a taste of it, you just don't want it anymore.
tired?
humans are stupid, yet cute at times, paradoxcial species.

I might have bipolar disorder.
maybe im just being emo for now excuse me for that.

Posted at 11:19 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jun. 22nd, 2009

hurt?

mood: Useless

i think im not human.
im a cold blooded thing.
i should be feeling awful and somehow hurt too,
when i see him in such pain...
But instead im feeling all so confused and
somehow lost of words.

but i think most importantly i was there,
i was there to 'console' him.
but i wont be there tomorrow.
till then his family will be there for him.

Jun. 14th, 2009

you know...whatever? i don't care.

mood:

cynical

tired mentally, physically and emotionally.
if ever this relationship does not work out,
i'll never date or be in a relationship with a guy who is younger than me.
period.

oh here are the problems...
insensitive,
addiction(games),
wont be able to understand you,
or just does not know how to console you
therefore, friends are the only people you can seek solace.
or just go through it yourself.
which is really sad.

now im starting to think being alone is much better.

Jun. 9th, 2009

hi ppl.

mood:

blah

gone mia again as always.
finding it so pointless to write.

Being in a relationship just makes me weaker.
im so dependent on him for my emotional stability.
don't know since when. i was so independent then.
i feel like shit when i dun see him for more than 3 days.
even if everyone hated me, or i died it wouldn't matter.
just being with him just makes me forget all about it.
makes me complete.

when you have something/someone, somehow you will lose something.
seems like it always exchanges.

when i was alone, longed to be with someone.
just can't help feeling oh so lonely.
somehow it seems like no one remembers about me.
just forgotten.

life is just a paradoxical sucky thing.

i wonder what he thinks abt me. and everything.

Apr. 12th, 2009

(no subject)

mood:

happy

The smell of him is on my hand...
too bad i have to wash my face...his smell is gone...
but at least i have his hoodie ^~^
doggies are kinda cute actually...

Posted at 01:50 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Mar. 29th, 2009

(no subject)

mood:

calm

At 11pm Sunday 29 March 2009, i replied
7 days before, he confessed to me.
too much things to think about, too much think to consider...
cynical thinking of mine...fuck it all.
i like him too much. . .

Mar. 28th, 2009

(no subject)

mood:

sad

i get cold turkey if i see you too little.
it sucks... i like want so much from you.
i think i might be suffering from pms... lagged pms

i feel so sad.

Posted at 12:01 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Mar. 10th, 2009

Writer's Block: Almost Famous

mood:

blah

What celebrity do you think looks like you? What celebrity do other people say you look like?

View 503 Answers

Emily Browning, Paris Hilton, Anna Tsuchiya

Tags: celebrities, writer's block

Posted at 09:29 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

I HATE BEING HANA, HANA CAN JUST GO FUCKING DIE.

mood:

frustrated

when shit happens, you just fucking need to go somewhere and fucking rant.
just when i need to fucking use livejournal it fucks up.
livejournal can just fucking go die now.

it is the worst thing ever when
you are sleeping at fucking 5am and your mum fucking wakes you up
by whining nagging and fucking lecturing.
fucking shut the fuck up for once.
what's your'all fucking problem?!
there is nothing right or wrong just the fucking thinking makes it so.
you all have this concept of things that doing certain things are right and certain things are wrong.
like fuck can you all stop being so fucking ANAL,
you all are the most anal people i've even seen in my fucking bleak life.
I HATE MY LIFE, I HATE BEING ME, IT'S FUCKING PATHETIC, I DON'T SEE A POINT FOR MY FUCKING EXISTENCE.
that you all never even see it as something at all. trust?
don't make me fucking laugh. trust me don't fucking make me laugh, you all will never fucking trust me at all.
fucking need to abolish stupid anal thinking.

this is fucking driving me insane.
so much frustration yes, frustration. again i feel like a compressed nuclear time bomb,
im gonna fucking explode. just try bumping me gently.
if any of my hair drops out again, im fucking blaming them.

just like my dream, dejavu.

Posted at 07:43 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 26th, 2009

(no subject)

mood:

contemplative

music: I drive myself crazy - NSYNC(LOL!)

i think my low self-esteem is killing me.
i scrutinize myself too much.
not that i don't love myself...

love love love you all people!
i feel like i've learn alot today.

"I'll go and bring you back."

Posted at 01:04 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 22nd, 2009

defrost?

mood:

good

today finally my heart got defrosted... somehow...
by you...
feeling a little more human everytime.
i miss you, im longing for you.

im pathetic i dunno what u really...
im bad at remembering stuffs...so bear with me alittle,
i will and will always remember every little detail.

Feb. 16th, 2009

KEEEEL the mozzies

mood:

blah

if you are complaining that u have a really bad mozzie problem,
till u come over my place.
everyday i would at least have one more new mozzie bite mark.
i dun just have it on my legs and arms...i have it on my weirds areas.
feet, toes, butt cheeks, boob yeah just name it.

srsly i think mozzies should just extinct.
they dun help in the decomposition, or like help on pollenating plants...
it only spreads diseases and irritates the shit out of everybody.

ok srsly mozzies all die!

OH OH OH and i got A for my CCS presentation wa first time i got A

Posted at 08:34 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend